Sunday, 10th April 2011, 11:47 hrs
The last month saw a couple of things taking place at work. The first but not the most important was that of a student taking books out of the library without registration; and this was done deliberately.
It was a rather interesting discovery. On that day I had a strange feeling that this particular student had taken a book out of the library without proper procedure. I searched for the book on the library's electronic catalogue and found it was available, but couldn't find it physically. The library staff helped me but they too couldn't find it. In the end, I decided to instruct the library staff to contact the particular student. In fact, I had no reason to believe she took it, but somehow I smiply had a strange feeling she took it.
After returning to my office I did wonder how she would feel, when there was no reason for us to ask her. At the same time there was this worry in me as to what I should do if she indeed had taken it. When the library staff came to me after about ten minutes, what shocked me was that the student not only took that book, but also three other books. The following day, we further discovered the same student had quietly returned four copies of journals by leaving them just next to the photocopier, without informing the library staff either. When the library staff contacted her to enquire if she was the one who left the journals, she simply replied, 'It's nothing to do with me!' And the strange thing was that after the library staff told me what happened, I was so sure the same student was the culprit. True enough roughly ten minutes after the library staff contacted her when she replied that it was nothing to do with her, she called back to confess she was the one who left them there.
On the day day when it was first discovered, the student had spoken first to a colleague who remarked to her that it was a small matter. Since the student had already spoken to a problematic colleague of mine, I had no choice but to raise the matter to my superior, who is the dean, and left it to him to resolve the matter. But when the student came to me after speaking to the colleague, her first response was one of no remorse as she said, 'In fact I'm not the only one. There're other students who do the same, and I've been telling them they shouldn't be doing this. Yet I'm doing this myself'. She further said she didn't like rules, to which I replied that even God had the ten commandments. To my mind, her response was quite unnecessary.
After this matter was raised to the dean, she became unhappy. First she wrote me an email to say that she was resigning from the part-time library reception post (a paid post we have invited students to apply to help with Saturday openings), citing the problem of this conflict. To which I replied that I wasn't the one to decide and advised her to write to the administration of the seminary. The dean subsequently stopped her library post, after consulting the president who insisted she had to stop immediately. The dean further arranged an appointment with her and, after speaking to her, strangely asked for another session with me despite my insistence that it was unnecessary.
We met and the dean asked her to repeat the whole event honestly. She did not seem pleased and, I suspect she thought I was the one who wanted her to come and explain again, so turned to the dean in a moderately angry look, 'Mr M, I'd like to know how many times I'll have to say this?' To which I replied, 'If you're sincere, even if we were to ask you to explain ten times, you would have done so willingly'. I was upset over two things: first, I had hoped she would simply tell us so we could resolve the matter on the basis that it was just an isolated case of unintentional mistake, but she didn't seize the opportunity but instead, and this is the second thing, she appeared defiant! It was the dean who repeated a couple of times that she confessed she held another copy of the journal which she returned when she was on duty the very last time the Saturday just prior to our meeting. And that was what I was waiting to hear her admit (and to think that just a few minutes before she was defiantly challenging us as to how many times she had to repeat her explanation, when in fact she still had things to hide!). She did not admit to another case of taking a reference book out of the library, which should not be so, only when I brought it to her attention. And it was only when I asked her how often she did this between taking the reference book out of the library (which was the fourth week of the trimester) and the time we spoke to her (which was the twelveth week) that she admitted she had taken books from the reference shelves, the red-dot shelves, journals, and the like. This is something I was deeply disappointed about.
The afternoon when we had met the student had lunch with the colleague and complained that we did not trust her. How on earth can she still expect us to trust her, when she had made herself untrustworthy?
I think the above incident was badly handled for two reasons. The first is the lack of leadership. The dean was wavering throughout. During our meeting with the student, the dean actually said these words, 'In fact, this whole matter didn't have to come to my level and could have been resolved at Mr P's level'. The dean is fully aware that my job is functional, not disciplinary. Yet, he has been behaving in a most unprofessional manner, not only this time but many other times before!
The second reason is the lack of professional ethics on the part of my colleague, who said it was a small matter to the student. How can this be a small matter? And yet it was this very colleague who later kept suggesting to me that the student should be punished, perhaps to get himself out of that troubled statement as I've made it known to the dean.
As all this was going on, the student in question happened to be doing a course under me. Although she submitted every assignment late, out of wanting to avoid being misunderstood I did not deduct a single point out of her grade. Unfortunately, she did not do a good piece of work at the end, as she confused the 'method' with the 'background'. This sort of problem, in any other seminary or university overseas, would have rendered a straight 'F'! Yet I didn't give that grade but instead still gave her a good pass! But now she's going around telling other students that I marked her down because of the library incident. This is a clear case of a thief crying innocent and claiming to be bullied!
The other most unfortunate thing is that the rumour is going around that I had wanted to 'get at her', while the other unprofessional colleague was trying to 'help her'. The truth of the matter is precisely the opposite.
I'm glad the Lord has given me a clear understanding of what my responsibilities are both as a lecturer and a library director, and a professional outlook that can stand up to scrutiny. I'm further grateful to the Lord that I have done what in my capacity I should do and am confident that in this matter, I'm above reproach.
One thing I might have unwisely done was the fact that I had told two students about this incident. One is a friend and the other has actually heard some of these 'half-truths', the latter I meant to explain so as to ensure she didn't get a false picture. But as I ponder over this, I ask myself what purpose my explanation to any other person outside of the issue actually serves. And why should I tell or explain to anyone, if I'm above reproach? This is a good lesson for me - to remain tight-lipped whatever happens, as long as my conscience is clear before the God who knows all things.
'Dear Lord,
Grant wisdom that is spiritual and divine, that honours and glorifies you. Teach me your ways, and guide me in your paths of righteousness. In Jesus' name. Amen'.
Saturday, April 9, 2011
The Tunnel and the Light
Friday, 23rd July 2010, 14:46 hrs...
Lying in the bed, I was trying to recall what was involved in executing an out-of-body experience...
It was about 16:00 hrs on a weekday. I was lifted up, slowly floating and leaving my bed, almost touching the ceiling...but soon came back to bed...then I soon saw a little spark, or a light of some sort, moving away from me but as if leading me in a speed that was far beyond words...
I felt I was squeezing through an extremely narrow and tiny tunnel, about the size of perhaps a few centimetres in diameter. The spark changed colours from time to time, going through the tiny and winding tunnel, I was involuntarily speeding behind it...some moments I thought I'd lost sight of it but only to realise that it was negotiating a bend, and I too went through the bend and once again the spark re-appeared... it went up, down and, at times right and left, the tunnel; and as it did its colour changed several times. I cannot tell what those colours were as I'm colour-blind...
Thus the spark was speeding ahead of me, leading me through the tunnel, while I speedily and involuntarily went after it for the next...well...about ten minutes...
Soon the spark left the tunnel and I too went out of the tunnel and the spark disappeared into a sea of thousands and thousands, or even millions, or I should say trillions, of little little sparks, much like the open space in the universe with all its stars filling the entire space... I looked and couldn't see myself except that I was floating in mid air... I was totally awake, but bodiless... I was absolutely conscious as I could still feel myself in the bed... then before I knew it, I was back...
I opened my eyes, feeling that it was but a ten-minute experience without knowing what to make of it... but the entire room was in total darkness. I felt rather puzzled. Wasn't it just about 4pm in the afternoon when I first closed my eyes? Wasn't it just about 10 minutes that I closed my eyes? I quickly turned to look at my watch. This was when I got a shock of my life: it was almost 7.30pm! 3 1/2 hours have passed since I closed my eyes and had the experience of going through that tunnel and the light... The feeling was just ten minutes, but the actual time was far longer...
I saw nothing, heard no voice, except the open universe...
I asked, and still do, "What has happened?"
Lying in the bed, I was trying to recall what was involved in executing an out-of-body experience...
It was about 16:00 hrs on a weekday. I was lifted up, slowly floating and leaving my bed, almost touching the ceiling...but soon came back to bed...then I soon saw a little spark, or a light of some sort, moving away from me but as if leading me in a speed that was far beyond words...
I felt I was squeezing through an extremely narrow and tiny tunnel, about the size of perhaps a few centimetres in diameter. The spark changed colours from time to time, going through the tiny and winding tunnel, I was involuntarily speeding behind it...some moments I thought I'd lost sight of it but only to realise that it was negotiating a bend, and I too went through the bend and once again the spark re-appeared... it went up, down and, at times right and left, the tunnel; and as it did its colour changed several times. I cannot tell what those colours were as I'm colour-blind...
Thus the spark was speeding ahead of me, leading me through the tunnel, while I speedily and involuntarily went after it for the next...well...about ten minutes...
Soon the spark left the tunnel and I too went out of the tunnel and the spark disappeared into a sea of thousands and thousands, or even millions, or I should say trillions, of little little sparks, much like the open space in the universe with all its stars filling the entire space... I looked and couldn't see myself except that I was floating in mid air... I was totally awake, but bodiless... I was absolutely conscious as I could still feel myself in the bed... then before I knew it, I was back...
I opened my eyes, feeling that it was but a ten-minute experience without knowing what to make of it... but the entire room was in total darkness. I felt rather puzzled. Wasn't it just about 4pm in the afternoon when I first closed my eyes? Wasn't it just about 10 minutes that I closed my eyes? I quickly turned to look at my watch. This was when I got a shock of my life: it was almost 7.30pm! 3 1/2 hours have passed since I closed my eyes and had the experience of going through that tunnel and the light... The feeling was just ten minutes, but the actual time was far longer...
I saw nothing, heard no voice, except the open universe...
I asked, and still do, "What has happened?"
Some Things Provide Life's Lessons
Monday, 26th July 2010, 22:40 hrs
In 2001, we completed the full renovation of our matrimonial flat at a whopping cost! However, in early 2002, we began to notice tiny little holes the size of a pin, usually coupled with something about 5 mm long with wings which, upon emerging from those hole, died soon after. It was after some study that we discovered these tiny little insects were uncommon in Singapore. They are called wood-borers. Their eggs were laid while the wood pieces were still trees. When they were cut down, very likely they missed the chemical treatment and were shipped to Singapore. Oh well...I just had to be one...
We had to call in the pest control and, after much scouting around, we settled for the recommendation of the pest control of our church, who charged us only S$100.00, compared to the recommendation of our original contractor, who quoted us a cost of S$1,200.00+.
One day, as I was alone examining the holes, when the treatment work had begun, I thought of the biblical account of the prophet Jeremiah who went and looked at the potter, in which he drew the lesson that God spoke to him the message that he was but the clay while God the potter. As I looked at those holes, it suddenly dawned on me that sins could be hidden somewhere in my life and slowly gnawing my life away...
Today, I meant to have the air-conditioning unit cleaned and the refrigerant refilled, only to be told there was leakage from the main pipe, which linked the indoor unit and the outdoor compressor, and which was covered behind the artificial compartment which is made of wood, on the upper side of two of the walls in the study. To repair the problem once and for all, the work would have to be thorough. It means having to call in the carpenter again to heck open and remove that part of the wall that now covers the main refrigerant pipe, thereafter, the air-condition workers would be called in to replace the entire unit, both indoor and outdoor, with completely new piping. Upon completing this, the carpenter would have to be recalled to replace the artificial wall with a new artificial wall.
All done? Nope! I'll then have to call in the painter who would treat the artificial wall and repaint it. And this is a huge task! The hecking and removing of the artificial wall in fact takes only 1 day, while the replacement of the air-conditioning unit takes another day. But the rest of the work will take up to ten days, at the very least!
Suddenly, the story of Jeremiah and the potter came to mind again...
Our lives, or perhaps I should personalise it by saying, my life is analogous to a split-type air-conditioning unit. I cannot function meaningfully as a human being unless deep within me there's a reservoir of strength that comes from the indwelling of God through his Holy Spirit. This is like the air-conditioning unit's refrigerant. Without it, the unit still looks beautiful and seems to work, but it simply does not serve its function - it's not cold at all! The air-conditioner therefore is as good as useless. The problem is that there's no refrigerant far away in the reservoir of the outdoor unit.
My life too may appear fine. But is there refrigerant in the depth of my soul? This particular source of my life - the Holy Spirit - not only gives meaning to my life, but also enables me to serve others, much like the air-conditioner's meaning and serving function. Like the work that has to be done, I too would need a thorough repair that gets to the bottom of the problem and resolves the issue of the source, the reservoir that's empty...
But how could someone who has been going to church, reading the Bible, etc. be void of the Spirit of God? I raised the same question. Then it dawned on me, as I was boiling some eggs and as the water was boiling and bubbling, that if the electricity is switched off (or the gas is turned off, depending on what type you use), the saucepan may be placed there on the hob for as long as I like, the water will never boil. Similarly, indeed, we may be resting on the "rock", the church of God, attending it and being involved in it, but that may well be all! If the God who gives life does not provide the Spirit to work in us, that is, if and once we're cut off from that source of God, we lose our purpose and meaning.
Interestingly, both the repair works to my air-conditioner and the boiling water both serve one important purpose - the removal of something unwanted or undesirable, negatively speaking; positively speaking, the fulfilment of something needed or desirable. In the case of the air-conditioner, it is to remove the problem of meaninglessness and refills the refrigerant so as to restore the original function for which the air-conditioner was intended. In the case of the boiling water, it is to remove any presence of bacteria and, at the same time, to bring to a safe condition for consumption the eggs that are boiled.
As an analogy, both impress upon me as examples of our lives' purpose, meaning, failure and their restoration. In fact, though the above two examples are simple things in life, they reflect a certain natural cycle of life and creation, and suggest that there's a cycle of life that must be maintained in order to sustain our personal meaning and purpose.
Yet, there're many things that come in the way of this cycle. Social ills, structural evil, personal sins, and such like. These are things to be addressed... and so I prayed to the Lord, "Lord, what do I do?" I started to state, mentally, certain things I'd resolve to fulfil. Then I realised it wasn't possible to do these things myself. They're things that have to do with the depth of life, to which only someone or something else above and transcendant can attend.
In the wee hours of the night, I remember the psalmist's words: "How can a young man keep his way pure? By keeping thy law in his heart". The psalmist further says, "I keep thy laws in my heart, that I may not sin against thee". As simple as that!
The creatures of thy hand thine awesome wonders tell;
With a simple word from thy gracious law the evil shall fell.
Sinners past and present before thy throne approach,
Though nothing good, yet thou removest all reproach!
Dear Lord and father of humanity, grant thy vision!
Visit thou thy children of dust, make us thy mission.
Forgive every wrong and past, fill us with thy love,
That we thy glory may proclaim, and wait for thee above.
In 2001, we completed the full renovation of our matrimonial flat at a whopping cost! However, in early 2002, we began to notice tiny little holes the size of a pin, usually coupled with something about 5 mm long with wings which, upon emerging from those hole, died soon after. It was after some study that we discovered these tiny little insects were uncommon in Singapore. They are called wood-borers. Their eggs were laid while the wood pieces were still trees. When they were cut down, very likely they missed the chemical treatment and were shipped to Singapore. Oh well...I just had to be one...
We had to call in the pest control and, after much scouting around, we settled for the recommendation of the pest control of our church, who charged us only S$100.00, compared to the recommendation of our original contractor, who quoted us a cost of S$1,200.00+.
One day, as I was alone examining the holes, when the treatment work had begun, I thought of the biblical account of the prophet Jeremiah who went and looked at the potter, in which he drew the lesson that God spoke to him the message that he was but the clay while God the potter. As I looked at those holes, it suddenly dawned on me that sins could be hidden somewhere in my life and slowly gnawing my life away...
Today, I meant to have the air-conditioning unit cleaned and the refrigerant refilled, only to be told there was leakage from the main pipe, which linked the indoor unit and the outdoor compressor, and which was covered behind the artificial compartment which is made of wood, on the upper side of two of the walls in the study. To repair the problem once and for all, the work would have to be thorough. It means having to call in the carpenter again to heck open and remove that part of the wall that now covers the main refrigerant pipe, thereafter, the air-condition workers would be called in to replace the entire unit, both indoor and outdoor, with completely new piping. Upon completing this, the carpenter would have to be recalled to replace the artificial wall with a new artificial wall.
All done? Nope! I'll then have to call in the painter who would treat the artificial wall and repaint it. And this is a huge task! The hecking and removing of the artificial wall in fact takes only 1 day, while the replacement of the air-conditioning unit takes another day. But the rest of the work will take up to ten days, at the very least!
Suddenly, the story of Jeremiah and the potter came to mind again...
Our lives, or perhaps I should personalise it by saying, my life is analogous to a split-type air-conditioning unit. I cannot function meaningfully as a human being unless deep within me there's a reservoir of strength that comes from the indwelling of God through his Holy Spirit. This is like the air-conditioning unit's refrigerant. Without it, the unit still looks beautiful and seems to work, but it simply does not serve its function - it's not cold at all! The air-conditioner therefore is as good as useless. The problem is that there's no refrigerant far away in the reservoir of the outdoor unit.
My life too may appear fine. But is there refrigerant in the depth of my soul? This particular source of my life - the Holy Spirit - not only gives meaning to my life, but also enables me to serve others, much like the air-conditioner's meaning and serving function. Like the work that has to be done, I too would need a thorough repair that gets to the bottom of the problem and resolves the issue of the source, the reservoir that's empty...
But how could someone who has been going to church, reading the Bible, etc. be void of the Spirit of God? I raised the same question. Then it dawned on me, as I was boiling some eggs and as the water was boiling and bubbling, that if the electricity is switched off (or the gas is turned off, depending on what type you use), the saucepan may be placed there on the hob for as long as I like, the water will never boil. Similarly, indeed, we may be resting on the "rock", the church of God, attending it and being involved in it, but that may well be all! If the God who gives life does not provide the Spirit to work in us, that is, if and once we're cut off from that source of God, we lose our purpose and meaning.
Interestingly, both the repair works to my air-conditioner and the boiling water both serve one important purpose - the removal of something unwanted or undesirable, negatively speaking; positively speaking, the fulfilment of something needed or desirable. In the case of the air-conditioner, it is to remove the problem of meaninglessness and refills the refrigerant so as to restore the original function for which the air-conditioner was intended. In the case of the boiling water, it is to remove any presence of bacteria and, at the same time, to bring to a safe condition for consumption the eggs that are boiled.
As an analogy, both impress upon me as examples of our lives' purpose, meaning, failure and their restoration. In fact, though the above two examples are simple things in life, they reflect a certain natural cycle of life and creation, and suggest that there's a cycle of life that must be maintained in order to sustain our personal meaning and purpose.
Yet, there're many things that come in the way of this cycle. Social ills, structural evil, personal sins, and such like. These are things to be addressed... and so I prayed to the Lord, "Lord, what do I do?" I started to state, mentally, certain things I'd resolve to fulfil. Then I realised it wasn't possible to do these things myself. They're things that have to do with the depth of life, to which only someone or something else above and transcendant can attend.
In the wee hours of the night, I remember the psalmist's words: "How can a young man keep his way pure? By keeping thy law in his heart". The psalmist further says, "I keep thy laws in my heart, that I may not sin against thee". As simple as that!
The creatures of thy hand thine awesome wonders tell;
With a simple word from thy gracious law the evil shall fell.
Sinners past and present before thy throne approach,
Though nothing good, yet thou removest all reproach!
Dear Lord and father of humanity, grant thy vision!
Visit thou thy children of dust, make us thy mission.
Forgive every wrong and past, fill us with thy love,
That we thy glory may proclaim, and wait for thee above.
Soon I'll Be Gone...
Friday, 6th August 2010, 22:59 hrs...
Soon I too would be gone...
to a place that I may not know
where only deeds of service and
works of grace would be my lot...
Soon I too would bid farewell...
and head towards a destiny
that is far better than I can imagine
and where a cup of blessing awaits...
Soon I would be welcome...
at a place where the poor, the sick,
the weak, the miserable ask for help
and I'd be free from all nonsense...
Soon life would be uncertain...
for I'd be with the scums of the earth
whom God cares and Jesus loves...
and where I too would learn love...
Soon is a time that's never clear...
unless and until I make it a reality
that begins in my heart and reach out
to those in need, right here and now...
Soon...
Soon I too would be gone...
to a place that I may not know
where only deeds of service and
works of grace would be my lot...
Soon I too would bid farewell...
and head towards a destiny
that is far better than I can imagine
and where a cup of blessing awaits...
Soon I would be welcome...
at a place where the poor, the sick,
the weak, the miserable ask for help
and I'd be free from all nonsense...
Soon life would be uncertain...
for I'd be with the scums of the earth
whom God cares and Jesus loves...
and where I too would learn love...
Soon is a time that's never clear...
unless and until I make it a reality
that begins in my heart and reach out
to those in need, right here and now...
Soon...
Friday, April 8, 2011
有上帝的話，幹嘛讀神學？
周四、2010年8月12日、21:12時
我們一群年輕人，在一間新加坡的鄉村教會聚會。當時，我們有一位很委身於上帝的主日學老師，她每主日都會帶領我們查經、解釋人生意義、教導我們禱告等等。在這位主日學老師底下，我們當中獻身當傳道的不少，總共至少有六位！但是，我們踏上這條路，至今我們沒有一位放棄，主要是我們清楚回答了其中一個重要問題：有上帝的話語（即聖經），幹嘛還要讀神學？
許多時候，這是個雞與蛋的問題。我們之所以如此提問，原本就是因為我們聽了教會教牧的教導，說聖經是上帝的話語。許多時候，我們的牧者因在神學院有一些負面的經歷，故他/們本身就更加對神學培訓質疑。或許，在學習的過程當中，我們的牧者也提過同樣的問題。不過，在牧會的過程中，我們的牧者也教導我們神學只是在某方面有幫助而已。其實，一位牧者之所以能夠如此的說，也就是因為他/她已經多少學習了反思和批判思考，只是他/她的思考缺乏完整性和平衡，因此自己的經歷和衝擊令他們擔心會友也會遭到類似的經歷。
但是，我們幹嘛要讀神學呢？如果聖經是神所默示的，那祂應該會賜我們理解祂的話語的能力。那我們幹嘛還要讀神學呢？
以上的問題帶有幾個假設：其一、上帝一定會賜我們理解祂的話語的能力。這個假設其實並不一定有聖經的根基；聖經中雖然提到上帝會賜聖靈指示我們，但那並不等於「一定通過我們自己獨立理解」！其二、神學是不好的。雖然如今沒有人會直接這麼說，但是那些說不需要讀神學的信徒一般上對攻讀神學是帶著一個負面的態度的，而那恰恰是因為他們認為神學只是知識上的累積，並非認識上帝的話語。如此思想的信徒犯了一個大毛病：有關攻讀神學的聖經教導和例子甚多，舊約、新約都有數不盡的嚴厲指示，要信徒對上帝的話語有更深的認識。而神學本身不只是認識上帝的話語，更是認識上帝過去的僕人如何使用、解釋、教導、應用、宣傳上帝的道！再者，神學也是認識上帝的聖靈在舊約、新約教會以及以後兩千年教會歷史中的運作，從而讓我們學習和認識上帝的道和祂運作的歷史。其三、「讀神學」並非對學生的靈命有幫助。其實，「讀神學」的過程本身並非只是理論上的學習，更是刻意的花幾年對自己的生命作出反省，並儘量在這幾年內學習改善和堅固自己的信仰、思考、牧養基礎等。其四、「讀神學」有學術化的傾向，但是上帝的話語不該如此考查。這一個所謂的「學術化」問題主要是出自它的誤解。太多信徒將他們自己的生命分割成幾部份：一部份是「理性」，一部份是「感性」，或者還有一部份是「靈性」。但是，聖經的教導是上帝創造人，並將氣息吹入人，人就有了生命。換句話說，上帝創造人並沒有將他們分割為幾部份，祂所創造的是個「整體性」的人。祂更賜人類一個腦，一個能夠思想的腦，是一個跟其他創造物不同的腦，因它能夠思考上帝的事情！動物如狗、貓、牛、羊等等都有感情，它們會開心，也會悲傷，但是他們的腦只能作基本的生存運作，卻不能思考上帝的事，更不能崇拜上帝。所以，若我們只單單專注「感性」，或只偏向「感性」而忽略「理性」，那我們其實只不過是停留在「動物的基本功能」而已。但是，我們根本就不應該分割化我們的生命。我們必須使用上帝所賜給我們的「腦」，用它來思考、反思、批判的解讀上帝的話語。「學術」一詞其實只不過是指小心翼翼，有根有據的去分析上帝的話語，爲了要從中尋找到上帝的信息，並認識上帝要我們做什麽，好叫我們能夠更加行出上帝的旨意。
幹嘛要讀神學？以上提到的只是冰山之角，我想「裝備」一詞對我們為何讀神學有很好的幫助。任何專業人士，例如：律師、醫生、會計、護士、司機等等，都需要足夠和恰當的培訓，方可出去做好一份工作。同樣的，讀神學主要是爲了裝備被上帝所呼召的信徒，讓他們能夠在那短短幾年內學習基本的教牧事工和神學思考的方法，我們也只能為他們禱告，希望他們讀完幾年後會繼續的使用所學習到的方法去更深入的認識上帝、祂的話語，且建立自己的一個有深度的神學思考。
或許以上也指向另一個層面，即神學老師的教學原則和態度。然而，這應該屬另一個課題。願上主祝福所有正在攻讀神學的信徒，也求上主帶領他們，並賜他們毅力、恒心去完成需要走的道路。阿門！
我們一群年輕人，在一間新加坡的鄉村教會聚會。當時，我們有一位很委身於上帝的主日學老師，她每主日都會帶領我們查經、解釋人生意義、教導我們禱告等等。在這位主日學老師底下，我們當中獻身當傳道的不少，總共至少有六位！但是，我們踏上這條路，至今我們沒有一位放棄，主要是我們清楚回答了其中一個重要問題：有上帝的話語（即聖經），幹嘛還要讀神學？
許多時候，這是個雞與蛋的問題。我們之所以如此提問，原本就是因為我們聽了教會教牧的教導，說聖經是上帝的話語。許多時候，我們的牧者因在神學院有一些負面的經歷，故他/們本身就更加對神學培訓質疑。或許，在學習的過程當中，我們的牧者也提過同樣的問題。不過，在牧會的過程中，我們的牧者也教導我們神學只是在某方面有幫助而已。其實，一位牧者之所以能夠如此的說，也就是因為他/她已經多少學習了反思和批判思考，只是他/她的思考缺乏完整性和平衡，因此自己的經歷和衝擊令他們擔心會友也會遭到類似的經歷。
但是，我們幹嘛要讀神學呢？如果聖經是神所默示的，那祂應該會賜我們理解祂的話語的能力。那我們幹嘛還要讀神學呢？
以上的問題帶有幾個假設：其一、上帝一定會賜我們理解祂的話語的能力。這個假設其實並不一定有聖經的根基；聖經中雖然提到上帝會賜聖靈指示我們，但那並不等於「一定通過我們自己獨立理解」！其二、神學是不好的。雖然如今沒有人會直接這麼說，但是那些說不需要讀神學的信徒一般上對攻讀神學是帶著一個負面的態度的，而那恰恰是因為他們認為神學只是知識上的累積，並非認識上帝的話語。如此思想的信徒犯了一個大毛病：有關攻讀神學的聖經教導和例子甚多，舊約、新約都有數不盡的嚴厲指示，要信徒對上帝的話語有更深的認識。而神學本身不只是認識上帝的話語，更是認識上帝過去的僕人如何使用、解釋、教導、應用、宣傳上帝的道！再者，神學也是認識上帝的聖靈在舊約、新約教會以及以後兩千年教會歷史中的運作，從而讓我們學習和認識上帝的道和祂運作的歷史。其三、「讀神學」並非對學生的靈命有幫助。其實，「讀神學」的過程本身並非只是理論上的學習，更是刻意的花幾年對自己的生命作出反省，並儘量在這幾年內學習改善和堅固自己的信仰、思考、牧養基礎等。其四、「讀神學」有學術化的傾向，但是上帝的話語不該如此考查。這一個所謂的「學術化」問題主要是出自它的誤解。太多信徒將他們自己的生命分割成幾部份：一部份是「理性」，一部份是「感性」，或者還有一部份是「靈性」。但是，聖經的教導是上帝創造人，並將氣息吹入人，人就有了生命。換句話說，上帝創造人並沒有將他們分割為幾部份，祂所創造的是個「整體性」的人。祂更賜人類一個腦，一個能夠思想的腦，是一個跟其他創造物不同的腦，因它能夠思考上帝的事情！動物如狗、貓、牛、羊等等都有感情，它們會開心，也會悲傷，但是他們的腦只能作基本的生存運作，卻不能思考上帝的事，更不能崇拜上帝。所以，若我們只單單專注「感性」，或只偏向「感性」而忽略「理性」，那我們其實只不過是停留在「動物的基本功能」而已。但是，我們根本就不應該分割化我們的生命。我們必須使用上帝所賜給我們的「腦」，用它來思考、反思、批判的解讀上帝的話語。「學術」一詞其實只不過是指小心翼翼，有根有據的去分析上帝的話語，爲了要從中尋找到上帝的信息，並認識上帝要我們做什麽，好叫我們能夠更加行出上帝的旨意。
幹嘛要讀神學？以上提到的只是冰山之角，我想「裝備」一詞對我們為何讀神學有很好的幫助。任何專業人士，例如：律師、醫生、會計、護士、司機等等，都需要足夠和恰當的培訓，方可出去做好一份工作。同樣的，讀神學主要是爲了裝備被上帝所呼召的信徒，讓他們能夠在那短短幾年內學習基本的教牧事工和神學思考的方法，我們也只能為他們禱告，希望他們讀完幾年後會繼續的使用所學習到的方法去更深入的認識上帝、祂的話語，且建立自己的一個有深度的神學思考。
或許以上也指向另一個層面，即神學老師的教學原則和態度。然而，這應該屬另一個課題。願上主祝福所有正在攻讀神學的信徒，也求上主帶領他們，並賜他們毅力、恒心去完成需要走的道路。阿門！
有效的會議！？
週二、2010年8月17日、13:31時
有人說，如果一個人有六十年的生命，從出世開始每日睡八個小時，到六十歲時他/她就已經睡了二十年！換句話說，活六十年卻只有四十年醒著的時間。我們若是減去成長年日、讀書年日、做白日夢時間、玩等等，真正做認真事情的時間其實是非常少的。因此，詩篇九十篇的作者如此祈禱：「求您教導我們如何數算我們的日子，好叫我們得著智慧的心。」因此，我們在年輕時候，凡事都應該儘量不要浪費我們的時光。
論到浪費時間，在基督教會中最浪費時間的其中一項事可說是會議了！或許以下我們可以以幾個句子思考思考：
何謂「有效的會議」？
會議前：
1. 不知道要討論的項目；
2. 不知道會議需要多少時間；
3. 不知道有幾個人會參加會議；
4. 不知道會議記錄程序；
5. 不知道會議記錄負責人；
6. 不知道自己不知道什麽！
會議中：
1. 重複過去已經決定的事；
2. 討論離題的事；
3. 討論一半講笑話；
4. 討論時轉成談天；
5. 討論到一半忘記在討論什麽；
6. 用一個小時討論一項只需十分鐘討論的事項；
7. 同時候很多人在說話；
8. 有人在睡覺；
9. 主席自己團團轉；
10. …………
會議後：什麽都沒有更進……等下一個會議重複以上全部！
有人說，如果一個人有六十年的生命，從出世開始每日睡八個小時，到六十歲時他/她就已經睡了二十年！換句話說，活六十年卻只有四十年醒著的時間。我們若是減去成長年日、讀書年日、做白日夢時間、玩等等，真正做認真事情的時間其實是非常少的。因此，詩篇九十篇的作者如此祈禱：「求您教導我們如何數算我們的日子，好叫我們得著智慧的心。」因此，我們在年輕時候，凡事都應該儘量不要浪費我們的時光。
論到浪費時間，在基督教會中最浪費時間的其中一項事可說是會議了！或許以下我們可以以幾個句子思考思考：
何謂「有效的會議」？
會議前：
1. 不知道要討論的項目；
2. 不知道會議需要多少時間；
3. 不知道有幾個人會參加會議；
4. 不知道會議記錄程序；
5. 不知道會議記錄負責人；
6. 不知道自己不知道什麽！
會議中：
1. 重複過去已經決定的事；
2. 討論離題的事；
3. 討論一半講笑話；
4. 討論時轉成談天；
5. 討論到一半忘記在討論什麽；
6. 用一個小時討論一項只需十分鐘討論的事項；
7. 同時候很多人在說話；
8. 有人在睡覺；
9. 主席自己團團轉；
10. …………
會議後：什麽都沒有更進……等下一個會議重複以上全部！
Thursday, April 7, 2011
理发师找老公？
周六、2010年8月21日、23:37时
十六岁的时候，曾在新加坡神学院上晚间课程，科目乃是The Doctine of Man。有一个晚上，老师提到一个有趣的事实：根据调查，在外面的要进去；而在里面的要出来。但是，到底“进去”哪里呢？而又是从“哪里”出来呢？
原来这一位老师所指乃是婚姻。他说没有结婚的，许多时候都盼望、期待、祷告祈求，甚至努力追求进入婚姻。那是因为他们不知道婚姻真面目。但是，这并非属实。其实，人是需要伴侣的，因人的基本性质就是群体，而非孤独。但是，太多人带着一个完美的理想进入婚姻，结果当他们发觉婚姻并非他们想象的，那些不是因内心的爱所启发和激发去结婚的人，很快就要离婚。也就是如此，很多在里面的要出来。
但是，若上述所言属实，那离婚的人士应该不会再婚。然而，许多离婚人士其实在很短的时间就再婚了。或许他们真的太孤单了。按照DSM IV，家庭压力最大的属丧偶，其次就是离婚。换言之，许多离婚者其实经历了非常严重的压力和伤害，而“再婚”可说是他们寻求医治的一种自然举动。
今早，本人去剪发。这是我在港两年所去的理发师。有一次，她说跟她的丈夫离婚了，后来认识了目前的“情人”，也是个离婚者，两人都是受过伤的，所以他们决定不结婚，只一起生活，过一个好象夫妇的生活，但却非“合法”的夫妇。虽知道，她的“情人”有一天喜欢上一个印尼顾客，应该是个印尼女佣，结果就跟着她走了，离开了这一位理发师“情人”。
真没想到，今天她跟我说了那么多，竟然突然问我月薪多少，是否要找个女朋友结婚，是否还想要有小孩，是否觉得孤单等等。这一位年纪不小的理发师这么的问，我开始还以为她只是想尽量对顾客友善，谁知道问了这些话以后，她突然说：“以后你常来找我，好吗？”我还未能作出任何答复，她又说：“跟我一起吃饭，好吗？”我说：“哦，我一般上吃很少的……”还没说完，她又突然问：“你是否有回新加坡啊？”我回答说：“上个月我刚返新……”，还未说完，她竟然说：“以后我跟你去新加坡玩，好吗？”那时，我真的吓了一跳，不知如何说，还好想到一件事实，便赶快说：“其实我也没什么回新加坡，我把房子卖了，而且新加坡的消费也太高了，……”，还未说我不太习惯跟不太认识的人旅行，他竟然说了一句把我吓到差点站起来就跑的话：“如果我跟你回去新加坡，你的家人会不会嫌我太老啊？”奇怪，我都没说要跟她在一起，也没说我要找一个理发师当老婆，也没说我要跟她作朋友，更完完全全没有想到跟一个比我还大的老女士一起吃饭、旅行，死都没想过要带一个陌生女士回新加坡！！！
我没有办法，因我的头（发）在她手中，所以只能忍（虽然我已经开始生气了）！完了之后，在离开之前，她突然叫我等等，把他的手机中的照片给我看——她的房子！然后说，改天你来我家玩！我的天啊！我赶快说：“我要走了，没时间了！”
气死人了！她把我当着什么了？以后必须找另一个理发师了，跟自己说：“以后一定要找个男的！”但是，又记得以前在新加坡曾遇过同性念的男士想追求我！害我怕得要命，随时都要出拳攻击，打他个落花流水！但是，那又是犯法的，唉呀……太岂有此理了！！
你说，好笑不好笑？今晚，我气到跑去吃了一大碗扬州炒饭，最后还是自己不好受！肚子饱到现在，已经是00:09时了！
还是把这事带到主面前，求主赐属天智慧，凡事心平气和的让主的话语成为我脚前的灯，路上的光！
十六岁的时候，曾在新加坡神学院上晚间课程，科目乃是The Doctine of Man。有一个晚上，老师提到一个有趣的事实：根据调查，在外面的要进去；而在里面的要出来。但是，到底“进去”哪里呢？而又是从“哪里”出来呢？
原来这一位老师所指乃是婚姻。他说没有结婚的，许多时候都盼望、期待、祷告祈求，甚至努力追求进入婚姻。那是因为他们不知道婚姻真面目。但是，这并非属实。其实，人是需要伴侣的，因人的基本性质就是群体，而非孤独。但是，太多人带着一个完美的理想进入婚姻，结果当他们发觉婚姻并非他们想象的，那些不是因内心的爱所启发和激发去结婚的人，很快就要离婚。也就是如此，很多在里面的要出来。
但是，若上述所言属实，那离婚的人士应该不会再婚。然而，许多离婚人士其实在很短的时间就再婚了。或许他们真的太孤单了。按照DSM IV，家庭压力最大的属丧偶，其次就是离婚。换言之，许多离婚者其实经历了非常严重的压力和伤害，而“再婚”可说是他们寻求医治的一种自然举动。
今早，本人去剪发。这是我在港两年所去的理发师。有一次，她说跟她的丈夫离婚了，后来认识了目前的“情人”，也是个离婚者，两人都是受过伤的，所以他们决定不结婚，只一起生活，过一个好象夫妇的生活，但却非“合法”的夫妇。虽知道，她的“情人”有一天喜欢上一个印尼顾客，应该是个印尼女佣，结果就跟着她走了，离开了这一位理发师“情人”。
真没想到，今天她跟我说了那么多，竟然突然问我月薪多少，是否要找个女朋友结婚，是否还想要有小孩，是否觉得孤单等等。这一位年纪不小的理发师这么的问，我开始还以为她只是想尽量对顾客友善，谁知道问了这些话以后，她突然说：“以后你常来找我，好吗？”我还未能作出任何答复，她又说：“跟我一起吃饭，好吗？”我说：“哦，我一般上吃很少的……”还没说完，她又突然问：“你是否有回新加坡啊？”我回答说：“上个月我刚返新……”，还未说完，她竟然说：“以后我跟你去新加坡玩，好吗？”那时，我真的吓了一跳，不知如何说，还好想到一件事实，便赶快说：“其实我也没什么回新加坡，我把房子卖了，而且新加坡的消费也太高了，……”，还未说我不太习惯跟不太认识的人旅行，他竟然说了一句把我吓到差点站起来就跑的话：“如果我跟你回去新加坡，你的家人会不会嫌我太老啊？”奇怪，我都没说要跟她在一起，也没说我要找一个理发师当老婆，也没说我要跟她作朋友，更完完全全没有想到跟一个比我还大的老女士一起吃饭、旅行，死都没想过要带一个陌生女士回新加坡！！！
我没有办法，因我的头（发）在她手中，所以只能忍（虽然我已经开始生气了）！完了之后，在离开之前，她突然叫我等等，把他的手机中的照片给我看——她的房子！然后说，改天你来我家玩！我的天啊！我赶快说：“我要走了，没时间了！”
气死人了！她把我当着什么了？以后必须找另一个理发师了，跟自己说：“以后一定要找个男的！”但是，又记得以前在新加坡曾遇过同性念的男士想追求我！害我怕得要命，随时都要出拳攻击，打他个落花流水！但是，那又是犯法的，唉呀……太岂有此理了！！
你说，好笑不好笑？今晚，我气到跑去吃了一大碗扬州炒饭，最后还是自己不好受！肚子饱到现在，已经是00:09时了！
还是把这事带到主面前，求主赐属天智慧，凡事心平气和的让主的话语成为我脚前的灯，路上的光！
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